Pilot. As in sitcom. Not airplane, pen, furnace
light, or Yodel Bus. Although our Yodel Bus certainly
makes quite an entrance in the next chapter!
The name's Kid. The BetterWorld Kid. You got a problem
with that? Oh, you do. Oh, okay. That's cool.
Cut! Junior we are not doing an 11 year-old's comic
strip on our show!"
That's my sister, Ellie. She does this to me all
the time. She's 15. She thinks she's a grown up.
She wants our show to be about grown up stuff. Stuff
that'll "wake people up" and turn them into save-the-world
activists. War and poverty, gang violence and world
hunger. That kind of stuff. I'm 11. I'm a kid. I
want the show to be about kid stuff. Pokemon, wizards
and video games. With a twist of course. After all,
this is "The Better World Show" we're talking about.
great. Keep going with it.
That's our director. He loves it when we argue.
"Makes good TV!" he claims.
I know you're wondering how and why it is we, of
all people, were chosen to make a pilot for a new
Of course, Sis thought they picked up our reality
show concept because of all the important social
issues she talked about on our audition tape.
Dad thought it was because he claims to have been
a celebrity in some other-dimensional-universe.
Mom thought it was because of her witty banter while
she baked her award-winning pies.
Me, I thought it was because our family is just
about the strangest one you'll ever meet. There's
lots of STRANGE stuff on TV, but we're stranger
than EVERYTHING else I've ever seen.
Turns out they just liked the irony. Our audition
tape for "The Better World Show" had quite a bit
of "friendly disagreements" going on. They didn't
really pay attention to the content on the tape,
They should have before they signed our six-episode
contract. If they'd have actually watched our tape,
they would have been a little more prepared for
the "strangeness" that was about to be recorded
on their TV cameras. Because a few guest stars were
about to drop in, and our reality show was about
to take a sharp turn away from reality.
Chapter 2. Now that's an
So picture this.
Dad's going on and on about his bubblegum-blowing
trophies over on the mantle in the living room,
and the camera-guy's doing his best not to nod off.
But of course he can't because Sis is standing on
a stack of soap boxes, spouting about starving kids
in Africa, debt-relief and the crises in Darfur
and Uganda, while flipping down sharp-edged photographs
with disturbingly sad pictures at the poor camera
guy, who is trying to keep the cameras rolling while
he does his best to dodge the disturbing images
and sharp edges.
And Mom's off to the left in the kitchen trying
her best to get the camera-guy's attention through
the picture window in between the kitchen and living
room. She's got this cheesy smile painted on her
face while she's juggling six bowls of custard and
pudding and meanwhile stirring six others on the
counter, two with each hand, and one with each foot.
And the spoon wedged in between her painted smile
is whipping up each of the six flying bowls as they
fly by. And the poor camera guy's doing his best
to dodge the splashes of pudding and custard that
keep flying at him.
The director, of course, is in his own world watching
some video on his iphone. And the way his eyes were
bugging out of his head, I'm sure it wasn't G-rated.
And me, I'm just sitting on the couch watching my
watch, because I was expecting guests, and they
were running late.
But they sure did make quite an entrance.
Even the Director tore his eyes away from his steamy
video when the Yodel Bus crashed through the front
door and screeched to a stop, inches away from the
The poor guy nearly had a heart attack, but I don't
think he flinched, and the cameras rolled on without
I didn't do it," Dad gasped, from underneath the
pile of trophies that had crashed down on him, after
the light fixture he'd leaped up onto ripped from
the ceiling and crashed onto the shelf, spilling
all the trophies down onto his head on the floor.
I should point out that Dad is definitely not the
best driver in the world, and when things like this
usually happen (and they usually do happen at our
house) it's always Dad behind the wheel.
This time, we found out when the camera-guy zoomed
in, and we all turned to the TV monitor, that a
little kitten had been driving. It cutely jumped
up and down on the wheel, and each time it jumped
it split in two or three or six and back to three
and two andů
Pack!" Ellie, Mom, Dad and I shouted excitedly as
we raced toward the Yodel Bus, climbing over broken
pieces of the wall and shards of what used to be
our front door, to get to it.
The camera-guy's mouth was practically hanging on
the floor, but he kept filming.