How I Helped
The Last Peace Wizard Save The Universe

The Third Junior Chronicles Chronicle
by Robert Alan
(not yet illustrated)

 

CHAPTER 1. WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM ALREADY IN PROGRESS…

Quiet! My favorite show's coming on...

Wait. What the heck-a-majeckle!!!! A commercial. Oh man … No way!

First they preempt my favorite TV show with a Public Service Announcement. It was the pilot episode, which I've never seen! Who knows what I've missed … And then it resumes into a commercial. No way. I AM SO MAD!

Uggh!!! … Alright Junior. Calm down. It'll be back in a second.

And, by the way, I can't believe they called that a Public Service Announcement. It was a stinking 'test of the emergency broadcasting system.' We got to see a test pattern and hear a high pitched screech for sixty seconds. What's the point of that? Thanks a lot!

It's nothing like the Public Service Announcement we had just before that one, that's for sure. The one that got us here in this mess. Now, that was a PSA! Pretty much saved my hide.

But this boring commercial does give me a chance to go to the bathroom. Or have a snack. Oh yeah, a tasty snack would be great right about now…

Like that birthday cake full of burning candles Mom's holding. Sure looks good, but NO. Mom's giving me that look. Gotta wait another twelve minutes more…Until it's officially my birthday.

Yeah, you're probably a little confused.

If I'm not mistaken, last time you peeked in on me - back when I was King of the Universe - my family and friends were singing 'Happy Birthday' to me as I was about to turn from Ten to Thirteen.

And we were just about to escape from those nasty witches and warlocks and ogres riding that ginormous slimy fart-flaming-dragon. You remember, those evil guys who wanted to make me a slave to that nasty magic wand that would make me do the most horrible, unthinkable things. Like destroy all of time, space and every dimensional universe. That kind of stuff.

And remember, it was down to the last stroke of Midnight and they were either going to enslave me forever, or we were going to yodel out of there and begin a whole new fantastic, outrageous adventure.

I know. I was all excited too, on account of what that snaily-dude said. You remember, the one who always shows up claiming to be 'My Editor.' He promised we were in for some amazing and EXCITING new adventures.

Yeah, so then they went and interrupted everything for that Public Service Announcement. (The real one that interrupted my life. Not the test pattern that interrupted the pilot episode of my favorite TV show.)

The real PSA that said they'd decided to do Daylight Savings early this year. And they turned the clocks back an hour.

The good thing, of course, was that those witches, and warlocks and ogres had to turn the ginormous slimy dragon they were riding right around. I don't need to tell you we all gasped a huge sigh of relief when we watched the dragon's fire farts propel them further and further away back into the voids of space.

The major bummer, of course, was that setting the clock back also meant I had to stay ten years old for another hour. I'm supposed to be 13!

And it isn't only getting me down because I have to be a kid again for another hour, but also because we can't yodel out of here until the clock strikes Midnight again. I'm the only one apparently who can override the spell they cast on our Yodel Bus. But they're really strict about the 13-year minimum yodel-and-drive age in these parts, so we can't yodel our escape until the betwitching hour.

Yeah, so I was feeling pretty low as you can imagine, having to wait another hour to blow out the candles, and all. Good thing they're the kind that never go out till you blow them out. Mom's arms sure must be getting tired, though, holding the cake so long.

Anyway, then I noticed my favorite TV show was on. It was the end of an episode I'd already seen, but I love that show so much I didn't care. Suddenly I didn't have a worry in the world. I was in TV-heaven!

And then when the episode was over and I was feeling all warm and fuzzy, well, you're not going to believe this, but they said the Pilot Episode was up next, and I'd never seen it! Naturally I was glued to the TV, riveted to every word, absolutely sure I'd died and gone to heaven.

Then just when it was getting even more exciting than I could have ever imagined, they went and interrupted it for that fake emergency-broadcast-test-PSA. Can you believe the nerve!

Yeah, you noticed I've been avoiding telling you what my favorite TV show is, huh. Well, it's just that everyone's been teasing me for the last 48 minutes about it. I'm sure you'll be making wisecracks about it, too.

But I don't care. I love that show!

Alright, I confess. I'm addicted to The Last Peace Wizard.

You know, the show about that really cute Princess Maya, the 12 year old who travels all throughout time, space and every dimensional universe, battling the forces of evil, despair and greed.

Wait. Really? You never heard of it. Are you serious? They don't have it in your cable line-up! Oh man, it's just the most amazing show ever…

Yeah, I know, The Last Peace Wizard isn't exactly the title of a TV show you might normally expect a just-about teenage action-loving guy like me to be watching. I know, it's about a PEACE wizard…And the star is a girl!

But Maya, the Last Peace Wizard, who's my age (or at least the age I'm SUPPOSED TO BE!), is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And besides, Junior, her magical sidekick looks just like me!

Of course no one else sees the resemblance.

"How can he look like you -- he's a dog!" my best friends Merle and Artie, groaned at the same time, when I made the mistake of mumbling this simple observation while I was glued to the TV set.

So, he's a dog. Still looks exactly like me! I thought to myself, but didn't open my mouth, or even blink at all. How could I divert my attention even for a second -- the Pilot-episode was on, and I'd never seen it before! There was no room in my brain for any other thoughts. Annoying questions, birthdays, witches, shipwrecked Yodel-buses and everything else was just going to have to wait until my show was over!

As the opening credits rolled to a close, I tuned out all the commotion that was fighting to get my attention while I turned the volume up on the remote to help drown it all out -- Uncle Sly still arguing with the on-deck Computer, trying to get it to take us somewhere, anywhere, before the witches got back; Mom and Dad, Aunt Betty and Uncle Barney, Aunt Annie and Uncle Mike, each trying to catch poor Uncle Sly's ear with their brilliant suggestions; Aunt Muffie, purring as loud as she could to drown out all the noise so she didn't miss a stitch in her knitting; Merle and Artie shaking each of my presents, tossing them back and forth across the bus, trying to guess what's in them; and my Sister Ellie trying to catch Six Pack as he bounced around the bus, turning from one to two to four to six meowing kittens.

I didn't hear any of it. Because there she was up on the screen, Maya, the Peace Wizard, sitting quietly at sunset in the most beautiful place I could ever have imagined. The colors that danced on the hill and the mountains and lakes it overlooked were amazing. They danced in her eyes as she sat in the center of a circle with the Council, gazing lovingly at them all - her family and friends she would be leaving, perhaps forever.

"You are our only hope, Maya," her mother whispered. "You are the Last Peace Wizard to leave Peacetopia. The War Witches have gained so much power that we must close the portal, forever, or until peace prevails on earth and in all of time, space and the other dimensional universes."

Now it all made sense to me. Maya had always spoken about the beauty of Peacetopia while she was on her adventures. Now having seen it, and felt it's wonder, I knew how hard it was for her to be away from her home, and why she was so driven to bring peace throughout all of time, space and the other dimensional universes. Only when peace prevailed everywhere would Peacetopia be safe.

And then that lousy emergency-broadcast-testing-PSA came on, practically shattering the windows on the Yodel Bus before I could turn down the volume. And with the perfect addition of insult to injury, these boring commercials followed.

I just don't know how I'm going to be able to wait until the show comes back…

Huh?

Hang on a sec. I think everyone's trying to get my attention. They're pointing out the window on the side of the bus. There's somebody out there but they're all standing in the way so I can't see who it…

OMG!!!

I…

I…I don't believe it…

It…

It's…

It's The Last Peace Wizard!

 

...to be continued...

 

Not yet illustrated.

© 2000-2011 Robert Alan
The People For Peace Project

PforPeace@aol.com

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